From a young age, I struggled deeply with my self-image, constantly battling with a distorted perception of my body. At just 10 or 11 years old, I began to pick at my body and compare myself to other girls, convinced that I was overweight and not as beautiful. I fixated on small details—measuring my wrists with my hands, obsessing over how my body looked in comparison to others, and feeling immense sadness when I believed I didn’t meet the unrealistic standards I had set for myself. I began fixating on small details, like measuring my wrists with my hands. If my fingers couldn’t fully wrap around my wrist, I would become deeply upset, convinced I was bigger than I should be. Every time I stepped on the scale, I was preoccupied with the number. I obsessed over the size of my clothes, the cellulite on my thighs, my stretch marks—the list seemed endless. I could never find peace with myself or my body.
As I grew older, these thoughts and behaviours escalated. By my teenage years, I developed harmful habits in an attempt to control my appearance. I exercised excessively to burn off calories, cut out sugar completely, and reduced my food intake to an unhealthy level—hiding these behaviours from my mam so she wouldn’t notice. By the age of 14, my struggle had intensified. I was in a constant state of comparison with my peers, feeling lost and mentally drained. My eating habits became more extreme; I began purging after meals, convinced that this was the only way to prevent weight gain. I starved myself, only eating when absolutely necessary, and even then, I would make myself sick afterward, to the point of vomiting until acid came up. Eventually, this destructive cycle took a serious toll on my health, leading to a doctor’s diagnosis of bleeding ulcers. I was prescribed multiple medications, but no prescription could heal the emotional turmoil I was experiencing.
For years, I was in an internal battle with myself. My mind was consumed by self-hate, jealousy, and insecurity, preventing me from forming healthy relationships with others and, more importantly, with myself. Despite the physical pain, the emotional battle was far worse. I felt trapped in a cycle of self-hatred, constantly punishing myself for eating and unable to see my body in a realistic way. Even as I entered adulthood, the struggle persisted. I turned to vaping and excessive tea consumption to suppress my appetite, unknowingly exacerbating my health issues.
At the time, I was referred to a school counsellor who quickly recognized the severity of my struggles. She suggested that I seek medical attention, but I never followed through. Deep down, I knew that no external help could truly fix what was happening inside me. The hardest part of my journey was coming to terms with the fact that overcoming this disease was an inside job—one that only I could do for myself. No doctor, no therapist, no medication could erase the distorted image I had of myself. I felt incredibly alone, but I also knew that I had to take control of my own healing. It was during this time that I began watching inspirational videos, specifically those related to body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). I remember seeing stories from others who had suffered in similar ways, and one woman’s experience had a profound impact on me. She had come close to losing her life because of her experience with (Anorexia), and in her message, she emphasized the importance of loving your body for what it does, rather than how it looks. She spoke about the fear of never waking up again, of never seeing her family again, and that was the moment something inside me shifted. I realized that if I continued down this path, I might end up in the hospital—or worse, I might not make it at all. The thought of never seeing my family again, of never getting the chance to build a future for myself, terrified me. That fear became my turning point. I knew I had to make a change before it was too late.
However, through self-awareness, constantly showing up for myself and a deep desire for change, I have been able to reclaim my life. My journey to recovery has been long and challenging, but it has also been incredibly transformative. I have learned the importance of self-love, body acceptance, mental well-being and finding healthy ways to cope with my emotions. I now recognize my worth beyond appearance and understand that true beauty comes from within.
Little by little, I started making small changes. One of the most important lessons I learned was that the way I treated my body directly reflected how I felt about myself. I learned to surround myself with people who uplifted me, people who made me feel seen and valued rather than inadequate and insecure.
Having first-hand experience with this disorder, I know what it feels like to be trapped in a cycle of negative thoughts and harmful behaviours, but I also know that recovery is possible. I want to use my journey as a source of hope and motivation for others who feel lost, just as I once did.
Through my recovery, I have developed valuable skills and qualities that make me a strong candidate for this role. I am now a more confident, empathetic, and supportive individual. My personal experience has given me deep insight into the struggles of those battling any form of eating disorders, allowing me to connect with others on a meaningful level.
Furthermore, I am passionate about raising awareness and advocating for better support systems for those suffering from eating disorders.
I am committed to turning my painful experiences into something positive—helping others find their way to self-acceptance, just as I have. I believe that by sharing my story and offering my support, I can be a source of light and encouragement for those who are still struggling.
