The question to ask yourself is what do you feel is the right course of action for you to take right now? In some ways, the fact that he doesn’t know that you know, gives you some time to think through how you are going to handle this situation. This is a delicate issue. Rushing into reacting may cause your son to retreat and defend his behaviours more. Before approaching him about this, you might find it helpful to read through our information on approaching someone. This will allow you time to think through how you can approach the situation in as constructive and supportive a manner as possible. Before you approach your son, inform yourself as much as possible about eating disorders. Your son may be experiencing feelings of shame around his behaviours and it will be important that you approach him in as gentle and safe a way as possible. Try to view your son’s behaviour as a way he has developed of coping. It then becomes possible for you to understand to what extent it will be important for him that this coping mechanism isn’t threatened by how you approach him. So, it is about trying to dialogue with him in such a way that he feels he can talk to you about why he is doing this at the moment. Eating disorders are manifestations of underlying emotional distress. The most important thing for him will be that he feels listened to and not judged. Try to accept him where he is at, and to focus on how he is feeling rather than what he is doing. If you think it would help, you could tease out ways of addressing the situation with a helpline volunteer (1890 200 444). This can provide you with a space to explore your own feelings which can put you in a better position to be the non judgemental listener that your son needs you to be at this time.