We can understand an objective binge episode as eating an amount of food very quickly, that is more than an average person would eat in a discrete period of time (i.e., 2 hours), until feeling uncomfortably full. A subjective binge can occur when someone eats something that was not planned, or by eating something, they feel completely out of control.
We hear from carers on our Family Support Services, that supporting a person with Binge Eating Disorder can bring about some unique challenges, particularly around lack a of awareness and understanding of BED.
What are the Challenges?
Carers shared about the challenges they experience supporting a person with BED in this session of Conversations with Carers. Some of the main challenges included:
- Lack of understanding that BED is a mental health issue
- Bingeing occurring within a restrict-binge cycle
- Other people associating an eating disorder with a certain body type
- Lack of regular eating routine
- Person not able to trust feelings of hunger
- Person using binge eating as a coping mechanism
- Person feeling intense shame and guilt
- Difficulty setting up a meal plan
What’s Helpful?
A strong message from the group was the importance of establishing a regular eating routine. For example, this could follow the ‘rule of 3’: eating 3 meals, 3 snacks, and not going longer than 3 hours without eating each day. Building a consistent routine can help your person trust their hunger cues, reduce some of the panic they may be experiencing, and reduce the likelihood of bingeing later in the day. Carers reflected that, for many people, restriction is a huge driver of binge eating. For some carers, taking more responsibility for meal planning helped reduce burden and pressure on their person, who may feel exhausted having to decide what and when to eat.
Carers also highlighted the difficulty in trying to intervene and stop their person bingeing in the moment. Their advice is to try to respond to a binge episode with empathy and curiosity, and focusing on how the person is feeling. Another helpful strategy is to try to collaborate with your person to delay their urge to binge. This could be achieved by including them in an activity after eating, like playing a board game, or asking them to help clean up the dishes.
Many carers spoke about the value of gently motivating your person. Trying to find something meaningful that your person would like to work towards, such as going on a school trip, can help shift focus from weight and behaviours to the idea of fuelling their body so that they can engage with life.
For other carers, including their person in discussions surrounding grocery shopping and meal preparation is key. Asking your person what they would like to eat, and suggesting some ideas that they could eat, can be a good way to collaborate with your person. For example, agreeing on at least one thing to try could be a manageable step forward. A key message from the group was that it can be more important that your person eats regularly, before shifting focus to trying to diversify or expand food groups.
A final message from carers is to focus on your person’s blue balloon. As there can be a lot of shame, stigma and misunderstanding around BED, providing a safe, warm and nurturing environment, and focusing on activities that your person enjoys, can boost their self-esteem and self-confidence.
FAQ
“Our daughter is in recovery, and we are about 6 months on from her intensive treatment. It has not been straightforward; there have been hurdles and setbacks along the way. However, I urge Carers and Families to make use of the available resources. We realised our daughter wasn’t the only person who needed support and education on how to change; we all did.
Our family had become dysfunctional, and the ED was in charge. By doing our own work and looking at our own behaviours, it helped us to have honest conversations with our daughter, she didn’t think that we could ever see her as separate to her ED, she believed she was the problem, which kept her isolated with her thoughts.
When she saw us engage with supports, it helped her realise that we wanted to be part of her recovery and that we are on her side.”
—
“My daughter has a binge eating disorder. This showed up when she was 7 years old. It has been very difficult to get support. I believe it’s the most common eaten disorder, but the least recognised as a ‘disorder’. Most forums that support eating disorders seem populated with those caring for anorexia or bulimia. Sharing the challenges involved with caring for a child with little self-control is embarrassing for me as a carer when I hear the stories of carers whose challenges are children with extreme self-control. I can’t imagine what it is like for my daughter when she tries to share in a forum with others whose beliefs and paradigms are completely the opposite of hers.
It is very hard to find detailed information on practical strategies to support this disorder. Because my daughter has not been hospitalised for her condition it can feel like the issues are trivial relative to those of other parents. Yet they are significant in her life as they limit what she can do, how she feels, and she suffers a lot of related health issue: eg acid reflux, indigestion, severe back pain. She is only 14 years old. It is frightening to think what the future may hold.
It is good to have a support network I can connect with. Even though the physical challenges and day to day issues seem to have little to zero overlap with those of other eating disorders, the emotional challenges in terms of managing mood and regulating emotions seem very familiar across the spectrum. Hearing others challenges can remind me that things could be worse.
Being able to learn some conversational recipes and dialogue to help support conversation has been a great game-changer in terms of getting my daughter to open up. And learning what not to say and what not to do has been a real revelation. Thanks Bodywhys for the education and the support. That has been a huge help. It’s a long journey but it’s nice to know we are not travelling on our own.”
